What are our dreams? What’s holding us back?

During my astrological browsings this morning, I discovered that this week Jupiter sesquisquared Saturn (Thursday evening EST). A sesquisquare, or sesquiquadrate, is three times the semisquare, resulting in an angle of 135°.

So – what does that mean? A thought-provoking post on Inspiredastrology says that, because the two planets govern the workings of society (Jupiter = hope and Saturn = rules), this sesquisquare highlights our attempts to balance personal goals with our responsibilities and obligations. ‘The rules, as you’ve always followed them, may seem especially limiting and off-course. There may be something else you need to be doing for your future success, yet you already have an obligation.’

I mention this because last night I experienced a stronger-than-usual crisis of conscience. I was reading Steven Forrest’s The Inner Sky, trying to work out what my Aquarius moon in the 9th house might mean. Rereading the chapter on Aquarius, I was struck by its significance as never before. Sentences leaped out: ‘The Water-Bearer’s mortal enemy is the tribal instinct’; ‘The battering ram takes many forms, but in essence it is the pressure brought upon us by our culture to conform to an established pattern of behaviour’; ‘Somewhere, deep in the core of her psyche there has to be a conviction that her perceptions are valid’ (emphases his). The 9th house: ‘All our views of reality are conditioned by an unspoken model of the world – and that model is always arbitrary and limiting’; ‘We must intentionally move to break up our routines of behaviour and thought’. Finally, a question posed by the moon: ‘What kinds of experiences are most essential to my happiness?’.

Last night, I reviewed my life and saw how, brick by brick, I had steadily constructed my own prison. Believing the stories I was told, I devotedly acquired everything I ‘needed’. A job. A mortgage. A car. Various insurance policies. Nice clothes. And in doing so I frittered my energies away, at the expense of that which will make my life truly worthwhile.

It’s not a pleasant feeling. We know that the path that leads us away from the norm is not an easy one. But how much harder – each and every grinding, dreary day – is the alternative?

Of the Jupiter Saturn sesquisquare Inspiredastrology says ‘Your obligations may be from the past, but they also represent your own need for safety and security. If this has become a burden, you may be realizing how you have restricted your own growth through your beliefs.’
Tick.

But this time also offers hope: ‘Why shouldn’t things work out? Try to think of what blocks you have put in your path to greater success and abundance. As Jupiter is also in a supportive aspect to Uranus, this is a time you can break through old beliefs that have prevented you from accessing your intuition and experiencing life spontaneously. This is a time you can recognize and release old judgments and criticisms that keep you locked just where you are. If you want to move beyond whatever feels blocked, you can do it with your own willingness to grow, experience, and develop.’